Navigating the Sea of Life with Self-Kindness

Have you ever skimmed a stone across a lake? One of the simplest pleasures I know. It took so much practice to get my first skip! Every attempt leading up to that first skip was an audible plop! I never failed to notice the circular expansion it made, radiating out on the water from the point of impact. The compassionate embrace of self-kindness is a personal choice to launch that stone and becomes a powerful force that sets in motion a ripple effect just like the radar, for ourselves, transforming internally and the world around us.

Calm seas

The glass like quality of still waters when alongside onboard in the right water lets you see deep down into the water and reflects the glory of the sunrise and the surrounding like a mirror first thing in the morning. I feel like I need to be still, or I risk disturbing the beauty and clarity of it all. It is one of the few moments of stillness and calm I appreciate and look forward to when sailing.

The stress of life can muddy the waters and create an unhealthy uncertainty that fuels self-doubt. I have never thought of myself as an anxious person, although on my journey I have discovered that the anxiety is there, just dressed up as something else – my inner critic! When it really takes a hold – my productivity and focus are considerably diminished. The double ripple effect is bad enough, but know it can keep going and in my past “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” wasn’t the worst of that ripple. Depression was very real for me., once upon a time.

Stillness is the first element of my morning routine, it can be a meditation or a prayer, and on the more successful days, all anxiety and stress lingering from the day before, melt away. It sharpens my focus for the day too, which for me has an impact on my productivity levels. This stillness can be practiced at any time of the day, I just prefer the morning [and recommend it too] and I have noticed an improvement in my mental health since I decided to commit to this daily practice. I shared an app to help to get started and the offer still stands if you want to take me up on it; click here – a full free year!

Crew Matters

Picture your waypoints on the voyage ahead (set them here), those dreams and goals on the horizon. When underway the clarity of your stillness and the increased focus it can bring exponential growth, however, nothing has the power to knock the wind out of your sails more than your nearest and dearest or colleagues or friends.

In the depths of my depression, I compartmentalised and excluded people from my life. I struggled alone for the most part. Every person was viewed with an expiry date. I thought they would never be friends with me let alone stick around if they really knew me. So I became who I thought I needed to be for groups of people, and when I couldn’t sustain it any longer, I would just find a new group of people. Never building meaningful relationships anywhere. For the rare souls who have been in my life for years, I limited my contact, stayed busy and away; the result may as well have been the same because the relationships have no significant depth. I share this with you because it took self-kindness to turn the tide and slowly I am building meaningful relationships in my life and want you to know you can too.

Relationships bring us belonging and connection. When our relationships are on an even keel, we flourish! When we decide to treat ourselves with respect, we set the standard for how others treat us. When we set boundaries – like time for stillness, we prioritise our self care with a kindness to foster the self-respect to take to others, to care for our emotional and emotional health. Without boundaries the overwhelm can creep up faster than you think! The external demands pull you in multiple directions, and suddenly there is no time or energy left to be kind to you! Before you set boundaries with other people, begin with yourself, it empowers you to communicate your limits better to others and nurture the relationships in your life.

Ripple Intentionally

As you slice through the water, headed for your ultimate destination, pause for a second and notice the ripple effect of your self-kindness. Who has it impacted? What has improved? What do you enjoy more? How much have you grown? How has the ripple created by someone else impacted you?

We are built for relationship. It enriches the experiences, add colour and texture. Starting within is the only place to start, external solutions are always temporary. Transformative power of compassion will bring grace, joy and enjoyment, strengthened connections that can flourish and thrive. Especially the relationship with yourself, with the added benefit of improving your resilience and self-belief.

How we show up mentally and emotionally impacts the relationships arounds. Lets choose, today, to be intentionally at our best.